Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
