"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
