so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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