WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
