It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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