ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
