Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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