lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
