so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize