The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize