Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
