i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Enjoy the penises
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
