Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
