I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I will pee on everything he values.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
