he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize