oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
