look no pants
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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