I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
