yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
