i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
