Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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