chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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