I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
