Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
