Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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