apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
