We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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