I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think people are normalizing furries
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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