that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
