i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
