I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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