Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
