She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
