I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
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Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
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Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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