I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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