When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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