I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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