He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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