I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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