definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
