the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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