hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
