For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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