It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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