It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Drake has all the answers
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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