maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
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I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
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I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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