Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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