ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
