so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
