Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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