Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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