Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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