Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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