dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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