dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
