you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
