You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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